Eternity
by ix3frogger
Summary: Its been 20 years since Edward left Bella, 20 years since Victoria turned her into a vampire. Every second of her life has been an unbearable hell. But what if Edward came back into her life? Would she let him, or has he hurt her too deeply?
1. Pain

**Disclaimer: ****_This is a fan-fiction of Stephenie Meyer's book "Twilight" and I do not take any credit for the creation of any of the characters._**

**_(The story takes place in New Moon right after Edward leaves Bella, its obviously a "what-if" scenario.) _**

**Chapter 1: Pain**

It's been exactly two decades. 20 years since I last saw _him_. My heart twisted in agony whenever I thought of him. His face never left my mind even though he hurt me so badly. Just thinking of him shattered my heart. It pained me to think of his dazzling smile, his beautiful shining eyes...

I shook my head to clear my mind. No more painful memories. No more Edward.

He had left me. He no longer loved me; he didn't "want me". But he didn't know that it nearly killed me. Victoria had come a month after he left. She killed Charlie first, tormenting me with the image as Charlie called out, "Bella... please..." I had hopelessly flung myself in front of her but she tossed me aside like I weighed nothing. Then she came for me, planning to finish me off, the pain immediately started as her teeth – coated with venom – touched my skin.

I'm not sure why she didn't just kill me. But I vaguely remember her saying that this was a more through way of torturing Edward. She knew that he would rather visit the Volturi then even consider the idea of me becoming like him – a vampire.

The pain was unbearable, worse than anything I had ever thought possible. Edward's description did not do it justice, for this was the single most painful experience I had ever gone through – physically that is.

What I am going through now is so much worse. It cannot even be compared to the change. What I experienced that night is infinitesimally small compared to the pain that Edward has planted inside of me – the pain that grows bigger with each passing day.

The first couple of days after the change were the most unbearable, the most torturous. The thirst consumed me; it was in every part of my body. I had never thought that I would actually _crave_ blood and be driven nearly insane by lust for it. But I was, and it was impossible to overcome.

My hunger was always there, it was like a shadow, following me everywhere I went. I stuck to the Cullen's "vegetarian" ways, but it was not an easy task. Several times I had very nearly strayed from the diet. But each time I reminded myself that I didn't _want_ to be a monster.

My lust for blood was not the only thing that had changed; my physical appearance had also been altered. I still looked like myself, like Bella, but everything was sharper and stunningly beautiful. I never thought that I could be considered "beautiful" but I guess it just comes with being a vampire.

My life – as a vampire – has been excruciatingly lonely. I have no family, no friends, nobody to talk to. I hoped that the pain – the pain that's been with me every second of my life since he left – would eventually subside. But it was a vain hope. I knew that it would never go away; it would never lessen or become bearable. It was like I was swimming in a never ending abyss of pain.

I was eventually able to control the hunger. After I found some control, I discovered that 'control' was actually my talent; my power. After a hunting trip, in which I caught a bear and a mountain lion, I realized that I was able to control minds.

I had just spotted a grizzly bear – which are one of my favorites – and was getting myself ready to pounce, when I sensed it. A presence. A vampire for that matter – apparently I had crossed into their hunting territory. As soon as I realized this, I started to backtrack and began to think _Just leave, I don't want to fight…._ And it seemed, as soon as I thought it, that the nearing vampire turned around and stalked out of the forest.

At first, I didn't think anything of it. But eventually I realized that it wasn't normal. No vampire would just leave without a confrontation. No, that was ludicrous. So I eventually came to the conclusion that it was me – that _I_ did it. At first it sounded crazy – I mean come on, being able to control minds? But then I started testing it on humans, animals, you name it. And I slowly began to realize that it was true. I could control minds.

My talent had become very useful over the past 20 years, when some overly observant human would begin to ask questions about me. This happened now and then. But thankfully I was able to manipulate their minds into making them think that I was normal and they were just being dramatic.

Up until now, I have been moving around from place to place. I have, finally, traveled the world: Moulin, Paris, Australia… everywhere. I have never stayed in one place for over 2 years. It's too painful. It just reminds me of Edward and the rest of his family. Sometimes I wonder about how he is, but I try my hardest not to think about him that much – although it is nearly impossible – it just leads to too much pain.

I recently decided that I wanted to go to school. I have no clue why, but I think I just wanted to belong somewhere, to feel like I matter to someone – anyone. So I registered as a junior at McKay High School, just outside of Salem, Oregon where I have been living for the past three months.

_Today should be interesting… _I silently thought to myself as I got ready for my "first" day of high school. I had been arguing with my self all night – seeing as I am _obviously _physically unable to sleep – whether of not school is good idea. But in the end I told myself that if it doesn't work out that I could just move somewhere else and forget about school. Maybe a secluded island off the coast of Jamaica…?

As I debated this I ran – at vampire speed – to my car, an Aston Martin. Like the Cullen's (cringing as I think the name), I like to drive fast.

I got to the school in less then five minutes – a normally 25 minute drive– due to my insanely fast driving. As I walked away from my car towards the office, I realized that everyone was staring at me. I was instantly alert. _Why? Do they know I'm a vampire? How!? _I unnecessarily breathed in a huge lungful of air. That's when it hit me. Of course! In their eyes I was beautiful. I then realized that I should be used to this by now, and I mentally scolded myself for overreacting.

Just then a gust of wind blew my hair. That's when I smelt it. The sweet, undeniably mouth watering scent that I had dreamt about for the past 20 years. Edward. I whipped my head around and searched the crowd for the only man I have ever loved. It was then that I spotted him, standing by his car, surrounded by his siblings, and looking more godlike then ever. I could only think one name. _Edward…_

* * *

**A/N: I had so much fun writing this!! I am so looking forward to writing more chapters. Please, please, PLEASE, tell me what you think! Good, bad… etc. Constructive criticism is always good!**


	2. Remembering

**Disclaimer: ****_This is a fan-fiction of Stephenie Meyer's book "Twilight" and I do not take any credit for the creation of any of the characters._**

_It was then that I spotted him, standing by his car, surrounded by his siblings, and looking more godlike then ever. I could only think one name. Edward…_

**Chapter 2: Remembering**

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't even move. It was as if the earth had stopped rotating. The moment I saw him I felt whole again. It was like he had never left, never torn my heart out or ruined my life. In that moment the only thing I wanted to do was run into his arms and more or less weld myself to his perfectly sculpted body.

_No, No, NO. _I could not think that. He tore out my heart. He ruined my life. It is _his_ fault that I have had to suffer every minute for the past 20 years. I can not, _will _not go running back to him. Besides – he doesn't love me; he doesn't want me.

Anger consumed me. I didn't think, just ran – as fast as I could and as far away from the school as possible – praying the whole time that they hadn't seen me.

As soon as I reached my house I started aimlessly pacing back and forth across the living room, occasionally talking out loud to nobody in particular.

_Why are they here? Why are they DOING this to me!! Can't they just leave me alone? Do they enjoy taunting me? Do they even know I'm here?_ "Ughh!!" I finally shouted, startling myself.

Of course they don't know I'm here! How could they? Why would they even take the time to consider where I might be? They don't care about me: I am nothing to them.

The next couple of days were agonizingly painful. I – of course – couldn't go back to school. Not with _them _there. It was beyond torturous knowing that the Cullen's were here yet realizing that I could not go see them. That would be a horrible mistake, one I would regret for the rest of my existence.

I can imagine their faces – filled with disgust and annoyance – at me showing up at their house. The only person I can imagine who would _not_ want to pick me up and throw me as far away from them as possible, is Alice.

_Alice… _It made my heart quiver in pain whenever I thought of my old best friend. She was like my sister. It was nearly incomprehensible for me to understand why she left , and I'm still not positive about it. But I knew that she wouldn't have stayed with me in Forks without her family. She may have loved me, but her family was everything to her. Besides, I was just a human then after all – nothing special.

I can't even imagine what Edward would do if he saw me. He'd be fuming, yelling at me and blaming me for interrupting his life yet again. I had always thought that I was just a nescience to him, that I dragged him down and prevented him from enjoying himself. And on that last day, 20 years ago, it was confirmed by his words: "Your not good for me, Bella" he had said. Remembering that day made my heart shatter all over again. There was _no _way I would be able to handle seeing Edward again, I won't be able to live through that pain once more. I couldn't.

The anger I felt towards him, the rest of his family, and myself, continued to boil inside of me. It was getting intolerable, so I did the only thing I could think of to release some of it. I went hunting.

When I get upset, or when the pain becomes unbearable, I hunt. Hunting has always been the way that I release anger and pain. When I hunt, I don't think about anything other then my prey. It's as if my mind is put on pause for that brief time and I am only left to govern with my senses.

I decided to go out farther than usual into the forests in search for big game – bears, mountain lion etc. – and to my pleasure; I found a very large quantity and was quickly distracted from my thoughts.

Hunting is very easy for me, seeing as I can control the minds of my prey. When I want an animal to do something, I simply command it with my mind. It's extremely easy. But I like a challenge so I rarely use my ability. But today I wasn't really in a "challenging" kind of mood so I cheated a little and used my power to get a Grizzly to come to me.

My mind was still completely clear – almost dazed, and I didn't notice that the Grizzly was being followed by someone. No, not _someone_ a vampire. So when the bear finally reached the clearing that I was waiting at, I was completely and utterly shocked when I found myself face to face with another vampire.

If I were still human my, heart would have been beating as fast as a humming bird's wing. And it would have kept gaining speed, especially when I recognized the burly vampire that was standing in front of me.

"Emmett.…" I said in a barely audible voice.

"Bella?" He whispered after two excruciatingly long minutes. He seemed to be just as shocked as I was. "B-B-Bella, is that really you?" he said with a shaky voice.

I couldn't speak, so I just nodded my head. I was waiting for his anger to come, the anger that would almost be identical to Edward's. But I was _not _expecting what happened next.

"BELLA!!" He shouted while charging towards me and grabbing me into a huge bear hug that would have killed a human. "Oh Bella, I've missed you so much!! Wait…? How… but… you… dead!!" he spluttered.

I was so shocked by his bone crushing hug and enthusiastic behavior that it took a

couple of minutes for his words to sink in. But when they did I was stunned all over again.

_Dead!? What is he talking about? _I was more than a little confused.

**A/N: Ahhh, this is soo much fun! Oh, sorry about leaving you with another cliff hanger, I just couldn't help myself! Once again, please tell me what you think!**


	3. Reunion

**Disclaimer: ****_This is a fan-fiction of Stephenie Meyer's book "Twilight" and I do not take any credit for the creation of any of the characters._**

"_BELLA!!" He shouted while charging towards me and grabbing me into a huge bear hug that would have killed a human. "Oh Bella, I've missed you so much!! Wait…? How… but… you… dead!!" he spluttered. _

……_Dead!? What is he talking about? I was more than a little confused._

**Chapter 3: Reunion**

I stood there for an immeasurable amount time trying to collect my thoughts.

_What? Dead? But… ? Huh?_

While I was standing there tying to gain some sanity to my staggered thoughts Emmett just stood – still as a statue – staring at me, with a wide grin that spread across his whole face.

I'm not sure how long we stood there like that; it could have been a short second, or an endless amount of hours. But finally, after what seemed like forever, Emmett seemed to realize that I was lost in thought, and quickly tried to snap me out of the oblivion I had been drawn into.

"Bella?" He said. His voice thick with confusion.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

It took me longer than it should have to respond but I finally snapped out of my haze and began to answer.

"Emmet, what are you talking about?"

He sighed in frustration "Bella, you just zoned out. It was like you were in a completely different world"

"No, no, no, before that. What did you mean by "dead"? I replied, now the frustrated one.

He was once again confused. "Bella… we thought you were _dead._ We thought that Victoria had killed you!"

As he said the words, a whole new train of thoughts ran through my mind. _They thought I was dead? WHAT?! How could they think that? How would they even know that?_ My mind was reeling with hundreds of questions, and I tried – unsuccessfully – to form a coherent one.

"W-W-Why would- What- But…. why?" I stuttered.

"Bella" He said in a soothing voice. "We came back. We came back to Forks! You weren't there, and we naturally got anxious. We started to ask about you around the town, and that's when we heard. They said that both you and Charlie were murdered. What else were we supposed to think? By the way, would you mind explaining to me how you are here, standing in front of me – not dead?" His voice was now seething with curiosity.

Anger charged through me and I unexpectedly burst out "MURDERED! Murdered because of you!! It's all your fault! You left me there, unprotected, knowing that Victoria was still out there! It's your fault that Charlie's dead! It's your fault that I have lived every single day of my nonexistent life in agony!!" I shouted. My voice filled with hatred.

I couldn't take this anymore. I needed to get far away from here, now.

I bolted towards the trees as quick as lightning and headed for my house. I heard Emmett following behind, but my speed was fueled by my anger so there was absolutely no way he would even be able to come anywhere close to catching me.

I couldn't believe this! How could they accept my death so easily? Did they not even consider the alternative? No. I guess they didn't. But why would they even care?

I was missing something, something obvious. They came back. They came back to Forks! Emmett's words finally began to sink in. Why did they come back? It couldn't have been for me.

_Could it?_

No.

They wouldn't have come back for me. I was nothing to them, nothing but a burden; a less than average human. No, they did not come back for _me._ But why did they come back?

Emmett was no longer following behind me, and I was only a few minutes away from my house. I was exhausted from the long day of emotional turmoil, and I greatly wished that I were able to take a nap.

Thinking about this caused my anger to boil again. It made me remember what they took from me. What I could have been, if it were not for them. They were the reason for my unnatural existence.

But one question was still unanswered; why _did_ they come back to Forks?

I honestly had no idea. Maybe they forgot something at their home? No, they have more than enough money to just replace whatever it was. _Hmmm…_ Had Alice wanted to visit our school friends? No, defiantly not. We were never that close to them; it was mainly a disguise.

_But... Why then?_

I was rapidly nearing my house now, so I started to walk at human speed for the last minute, trying to remain inconspicuous to the humans.

As I got closer to the house, I sensed something. I don't know _what_ exactly, but I knew that something was not right. Against my better judgment I continued walking to the house; at an even slower pace than before.

Then the scent hit me; the scent that has never, and would never leave my mind. The scent that I absolutely loved, yet loathed it at the same time.

They were here. The Cullen's were here, inside my house.

I didn't even think about why. I just turned on my heel and ran as fast as I could, away from the house and to the forest that I had just come from.

I guess that if I were rationally thinking then I would have realized that Emmett was still in the forest. But like I said: I didn't think, I just ran. But I instantly realized my mistake when I felt a pair of iron hands grab me from behind.

_Shit… _

I tried to squirm out of the iron grasp that had me locked into place. But it was useless, he was much too strong.

"Let go of me!" I shouted in vain.

"Bella, calm down!" He shouted back.

This did nothing to deter me though, if anything it made me struggle harder. Does he think I would just give up? Surrender?

I somehow managed to twist my way around so that I was facing him. It was not an easy task though, and I was extremely surprised that I was able to do it.

Emmett seemed just at shocked as I was, and he loosed his grip infinitesimally. But it was enough for me to break free from his grasp and kick him in the chest with as much force as I could manage. To my pleasure, he flew back about fifty feet.

I ran away from him as fast as I could, and was surprised at the speed. I think it was the fastest I have ever run. However, as much as I regret it, I did not have time to think about it. Because he was soon back on his feet and trailing behind me.

I don't know how far we ran, but I knew that we were no longer in Oregon. I didn't know exactly where we were; but we were no doubt far away from home.

Emmett was fast, I had to admit. But he still wasn't as fast as I was. I had tried to make him turn around using my powers but his mind was so focused on me that it acted like a shield against my talents. I would have to ponder that one later.

I was not going to give up. No matter how far we ran. And I doubted he would either.

_This might take a while…_ I silently thought to myself.

As soon as my thought ended, I ran into something – no some_one_ – hard.

The impact sent me flying backwards towards Emmett, and we both flew to the ground with a loud thump.

I was instantly on my feet, as was Emmett, and more than a little confused.

_What the hell? What was that?_

I started spinning in circles trying to find whoever it was I had run in to, when I felt – once again – two iron hands grab me from behind. I mentally scolded myself for being so stupid and forgetting about Emmett.

"Shit." I said aloud this time.

His booming laughter echoed in the forest.

"Jesus, Bella. Your fast" he said in an exasperated voice.

I was, once again, confused. _Why is he not concerned about what we just ran into?_

"W-W-What the hell?" I said, hoping he would answer my thoughts.

He laughed once more, and then six vampires – the vampires that I had once considered family – stepped out into the clearing.

My breath caught in my throat and I could do nothing more then stare at them with my mouth hanging open.

**A/N: Once again, sorry about the cliff hanger! I just had no clue where to stop it at. Please tell me what you think, and I will try to get the next chapter in as soon as possible!**


	4. Suffocating

**Disclaimer: ****_This is a fan-fiction of Stephenie Meyer's book "Twilight" and I do not take any credit for the creation of any of the characters._**

_He laughed once more, and then six vampires – the vampires that I had once considered family – stepped out into the clearing. _

_My breath caught in my throat and I could do nothing more then stare at them with my mouth hanging open. _

**Chapter 4: Suffocating **

Carlisle was the first to speak. "Bella" he said simply.

I made no movement, I couldn't, it was like I was frozen in place. The only part of my body that was able to move were my eyes. And they never stopped.

They searched every face.

First they landed on Alice, who wore an expression of undeniable excitement, and happiness. I swear that if she could have tackled me with hugs, she would have. But – thank god – she seemed to realize that that wouldn't be the best idea right now.

Next, they went to Jasper, who was right at Alice's side. His expression was one of concentration, and if I had to guess I would say that he was trying to decipher my emotions, along with the rest of his family's. Looking at Jasper made me think about that night so many years ago on my birthday when I got a simple paper cut and was very nearly killed by a ravenous Jasper.

I always wondered if that night had been a deciding factor in their move. What if that tragic event had never happened? Would they have still left?

I pulled my eyes away from Jasper and began to study Esme and Carlisle. Both of them had an expression of concern, shock, and love. This confused me, and I had no clue what to make of it. _Why weren't they angry with me?_

Instead of pondering their expression, my eyes went to Rosalie. _Her_ expression was easily decipherable due to the hatred in her eyes that were currently glaring at me. _Ahhh, Rosalie. I see nothing has changed. _

Finally, my eyes went to Edward. I had saved him for last – afraid of what I might see there. But what I actually saw completely shocked me, and it confused me even more than I already was.

When my eyes met his beautiful topaz ones, the only thing I could see in them was an endless pool of pain. _Was this because I was here? Did he really hate me that much?_ But as we continued to stare at one another, I could see the pain begin to lessen. Only infinitesimally, but enough to make my unbeating heart flutter in pleasure.

_Why is he in pain?_ I felt the urge to walk across the forest and take him in my arms and comfort him. But I didn't for three reasons. First – I knew that he didn't love me, and that if I threw myself at him he would just think of me as pathetic. Second – I didn't really know if I _wanted_ to be with him. He has caused me so much pain, am I really willing to forget about that and act as if it never happened? And third – because Emmett was still holding my arms in the inescapable snare of his grasp.

I realized that everyone was staring at me, and I quickly shied my eyes away and began to struggle again.

I can't stand this any longer. I need to leave; I need to get as far away from here as possible.

I fought Emmett's grasp with as much strength as I could, but to no anvil. I hadn't even loosened it an inch. But I didn't stop struggling, I twisted, turned, kicked…. I tried everything, but he didn't even budge.

"Bella!" Emmett shouted "We just want to talk!!"

In response I bit down on his hand as hard as I could, and thankfully, he dropped his arms and started swearing.

"Shit! Jesus! Ouch!! Dammit Bella!!" He snarled

I felt a little bad about that because I knew that vampire bites had a sting to it. But that didn't stop me from scouting the area, trying to find a way to escape.

Just as I was about to take off, _he_ spoke.

"Bella…" Edward said in his angelic voice.

I instantly stiffened. I could hear the pain seething in his voice, and for one brief moment I was worried that my resolve wouldn't hold and that I would turn around and run straight into his arms. But – thankfully – I was able to keep myself under control.

I didn't turn around. I didn't move at all. I just stood there, half couched, facing the thick forest walls.

"Bella – Bella please just talk to us." He said in a barely audible whisper. It seemed as if he was having trouble talking, like he couldn't find the right thing to say: the right thing to make me turn around and listen.

But his words sparked something in me: anger. He expected me to _talk _to them!! Was he insane? Suddenly the thoughts I had been thinking that first day I saw them at school flooded my mind once again, and this time found their way out of my mouth.

I turned sharply on my heel to face them, and began shouted at the top of my lungs.

"You ruined my life! You're the reason my father was murdered, the reason I have to live _everyday _in pain, not even able to rest my mind with sleep! And now you expect me to _talk_ to you!! Are you insane, or just brainless?!"

The expression on every one of their faces was of shock. They were all momentarily stunned into silence.

"Bella, I swear, we didn't know! We didn't realize the danger that we were leaving behind!" Alice said, breaking the silence.

"You didn't know!" I said, still shouting "Yeah right! You knew that Victoria was still out there and you left me!! Do you even know what I have been through? I _witnessed _my father being murdered, _saw _him being drained of blood and then torn apart piece by piece! I have no one!! I have no friends, no family, nothing. _Everyday_ for the past twenty years has been my own personal hell, and all you can say is 'we didn't know'!" I finished, exasperated.

The pain on each of their faces was unbearable. But it was the expression on Edward's face that made me fall to the ground and start tearlessly sobbing.

His eyes had gone from a beautiful topaz to a depthless midnight black, in a matter of seconds. They were endless pools of pain, pain that _I_ had caused. Although I was angry at him, I hated to see him in pain; _especially_ when I am the one who caused it.

My body started shaking and I fell to my knees gasping for air and sobbing. It felt as if everything in my life had been piling up into a huge stack, and finally got too tall and collapsed.

"Shhh, Bella. It's okay, you're okay." A beautiful voice soothed me.

I felt cool hands grab a hold of me, and I became vaguely aware that I was being carried. This should have bugged me – being carried off to god knows where by six vampires who were more or less the reason my father was murdered and I was turned into a monster – but I didn't care, I barely even noticed. For I was suffocating in the pain that was my life.

**A/N: This was such a fun chapter to write! It was also a very difficult one... I had like no clue what to say. So I apologize if it sucked. But - once again - please, please, please write a review telling me weather or not you liked it, and what I could do to improve it! I'll try to get the fifth chapter up as soon as I can.**


	5. Everlasting

**Disclaimer: ****_This is a fan-fiction of Stephenie Meyer's book "Twilight" and I do not take any credit for the creation of any of the characters._**

"_Shhh, Bella. Its okay, your okay." A beautiful voice soothed me._

_I felt cool hands grab a hold of me, and I became vaguely aware that I was being carried. This should have bugged me – being carried off to god knows where by six vampires who were more or less the reason my father was murdered and I was turned into a monster – but I didn't care, I barely even noticed. For I was suffocating in the pain that was my life. _

**Chapter 5: Everlasting**

I have been lying here – on a black sofa – staring at a plain white ceiling ever since I was carried in. By who? Where too? I have no clue. The last thing I remember clearly was the beautiful soothing voice. If I hadn't known any better I would have thought I was dreaming – but of course that is impossible.

I don't know how much time had passed. It all seemed to blend together; hours passed like minutes, and minutes passed like hours. I have been trapped inside my chaotic mind, with thoughts that I do not want to hear, for what seems like forever.

It has been torturous. I've been thinking about the past, about the present, and about the future. I have thought about my whole life and what is to come.

The past was extremely painful. I had never realized how _lifeless_ I was before. But by replaying my life in my mind, I saw it, and this realization hurt – a lot. My life is _nothing _without the Cullen's; without Edward. When they left, I died, I became a zombie. But unlike a zombie – I could feel. I felt everything – the pain, the loneliness, everything.

I don't think I can go through that again, I would surely break this time. But that leads me back to the ultimate question – Are the Cullen's here to stay?

_Hmmmm…_

What difference does it make though? Weather or not they stay. Either way they don't care for me; they wouldn't want me to be a part of their family.

I was quickly drawn out of my thoughts when I heard a noise; someone's footsteps.

I immediately sat up – now alert – and examined my surroundings.

I was in a house – a big one – and was lying in what I thought to be the main room; the living room. The couch that I was on sat directly across from a huge plasma T.V, and on either side of the T.V there was an endless amount of movies; I'd have to study them later.

Next, my eyes landed on the wall opposite of the T.V. This wall was made completely out of glass and the sun that shone through glinted off of my skin and broke into thousands of sparkling diamonds. But that's not what caught my attention; it was the wall right next to the glass that made me jump to my feet. On the wall was a huge blown up family picture of the Cullen's. Everything suddenly came back to me – Emmett, the Cullen's in the forest, falling to my knees sobbing tearless cries, being carried away in a cold iron grasp… I finally realized where I was.

The Cullen's house.

I was_ inside_ the Cullen's house.

I immediately jumped to my feet and began whipping my head around in search for an escape. Then I heard them again – the footsteps – and this time they were accompanied with whispers.

"Carlisle, it's almost been a day!" said a beautiful voice.

"I know. Just give her time; she is obviously in a very fragile state." the other voice, which must have been Carlisle's, replied.

"What if she doesn't snap out of it? Oh no… Carlisle, do something!!" the beautiful voice said franticly.

"Edward, I'm afraid there is nothing I can do. She has to come out of this by herself."

Edward. The beautiful voice is Edwards. I sucked in a huge lungful of air and I tried to calm myself – Edward. _Was he worried about me? Why did he sound so frantic?_

Oh god, oh god… I'm not ready for this. I can't talk to him yet. What do I do?

_Ohhhh what do I do, what do I do?_

I suddenly had an idea, maybe I could just lay back down and pretend that I was still lost in the oblivion of my mind… that will give me time to think.

I gently – careful to make no sound – lowered myself back onto the couch, and once again stared back up at the ceiling.

I could still hear Edward and Carlisle, and I knew that they were coming closer; they were coming to check on me. I closed my eyes and began to wait.

When they walked in, his scent hit me right away. It was the beautiful mouthwatering scent that I clearly remember to be Edwards – but my memories did not do it justice, this scent was a hundred times more luscious.

I was barely able to concentrate on what they were saying, due to Edward's mouthwatering scent. But I think I caught the gist of it.

"Carlisle… I-I have missed her so much… I-I-I –" said Edward.

"We know Edward, we know." Carlisle soothed.

_Huh? _He _missed _me? A million emotions ran through my mind at his words: Happiness, hope, shock… it was all there. I cleared my mind and tried to listen more intently.

"When I left her, I thought she would be better off… but… UGG!" he suddenly shouted, startling me. "This is all my fault! How could I have left her!! What she went through… what she told us in the forest, it's _all my_ fault! W-w-why.…" He was sobbing now, and I once again felt the urge to comfort him; to wrap my arms around him and never let go.

"Edward, this isn't your fault! You did what you thought was right… nobody could have known of the dangers, or what was going to happen. You can't blame this on yourself, it will tear you apart." Carlisle scolded.

"I'm already torn apart… I have been torn apart for 20 years."

Carlisle didn't argue, but instead answered "She's here now, maybe you can make things right again."

Edward didn't reply, he just sat there sobbing.

A couple of minutes passed, and I was so very nearly about to get up and comfort him. But then Carlisle stood up and said that he had to get to the hospital, and walked out.

It was just me and Edward…

I thought back to that day, 20 years ago, when Edward left me. It was the most horrible day of my life. The pain – it was so unbearable. I remember standing their not able to comprehend his words…

A small cry escaped from my mouth, and I felt one of Edward's cool hands grab a hold of mine while his other hand stroked me cheek.

I immediately succumbed to his touch, and forgot about everything else in the world. I still remained "lost in thought" for the fear of him pulling his hands back. But at that moment, it was just me and him – Edward and Bella – in the world. Nothing else mattered.

"I love you" I heard him whisper.

A spark of joy shot through me like lightning. He loved me! I, undeniably, loved him – but I was shocked to hear that he shared the same emotion. But just as suddenly as the joy came, so did the doubt. _Does he mean that? If he really means that then why had he left? Was it really for my "protection"?_ A million questions, along with a million emotions ran through my mind – but there was one question in there that overshadowed all of the other ones.

_Does he really love me?_

I realized that I was going to have to get up sooner or later, so I started to reboot my body. I started with breathing – for I had been holding my breath ever since his intoxicating scent had filled my nostrils. I took a huge gulp of air and then began to breathe more steadily.

I didn't miss the intake of breath that came from Edward; he must realize that I was coming out of my "trance".

I then started to move my legs; stretch them a little. I did this with every part of my body until I finally opened my eyes.

Edward was right there, staring at me; looking concerned. The relief on his face was evident as I awoke, and he let out the breath he had been holding since I started moving.

We couldn't have taken our eyes off of each other if we wanted to; they were glued to one another's. I searched his black eyes for some clue to what he was feeling, but the only thing I saw was and endless amount of pain, and relief.

His hand was still in mine and when I sat up his other hand moved back to my face and began to memorize it. I couldn't help it, I just couldn't hold onto my resolve any longer and with out thinking about it I threw my arms around his waist and buried my face in his chest.

He seemed to be just as shocked as I was, but he quickly got over it and wrapped his arms around me tightly. If I could have permanently glued myself to him, then I would have; I never wanted to let go.

"Bella" He whispered, and that one word; my name, was filled with so much love that it was hard to imagine that he had ever even left.

"Edward" I whispered back with as much love as I could – which was a lot.

For the first time in 20 years, I felt loved. I felt content. I felt _happy._

I just wanted to hold him forever, I wanted this moment to be everlasting.

* * *

**A/N: Hello, again. So this chapter may not be that good, I had _major_ writers block. But either way I had fun writing it. And YAY!! Edwards back!! But anyways, you know the drill. Please, Please, Please REVIEW!! Thanks! Once again, I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as possible!  
**


	6. Regret

**Disclaimer: ****_This is a fan-fiction of Stephenie Meyer's book "Twilight" and I do not take any credit for the creation of any of the characters._**

_For the first time in 20 years, I felt loved. I felt content. I felt happy._

_I just wanted to hold him forever; I wanted this moment to be everlasting._

**Chapter 6: Regret**

We sat there like that – me squeezed up against his chest – for an endless amount of time. I don't know what made the reality of the situation finally sink in, but when it did I stiffened and instantly pulled myself away from him – looking down at the floor.

_What was I doing? Was I really so weak that I would just forget about what he did; the pain he had caused me?_

"Edward…" I whispered unwillingly "Edward, I can't do this." My voice was barely audible, but the pain and reluctance was obvious.

When he didn't respond I looked up into his eyes, hoping to see what he was feeling; what I saw there almost made me take back my words. His eyes were once again full of pain; pain that I had caused. The look of hope that had been on his face when I threw myself at him was now gone and in its place was pain and disappointment.

Something was off in his expression though; it looked as if he had been expecting this…

"Edward, please say something" I said, no longer wanting to decipher his expression.

"I'm sorry" He barely whispered.

"Bella, I'm sorry for everything; for all of the pain I have caused you." His face was full of regret. "I know there is nothing I can do to make it up to you, but…" He started to trail off, sobbing some more.

But I desperately needed to hear the rest. "But…" I prompted.

He pulled himself together and began speaking again. "But you must understand that I hadn't the slightest idea that ... Victoria" he snarled as he said her name "was going to attack you! I know that doesn't mean anything; nothing at all, but Bella… I thought you were _dead._"

His words reminded me of an earlier thought. _How could he have accepted my death so easily? How did he know that I was truly dead?_

"But Edward, I wasn't dead! How could you have accepted it so soon when you had no evidence other than the report that I was dead?" I asked, some of my anger from earlier that day returning.

"Bella, we checked your house. Your blood was everywhere; there was so much of it…" He started to get lost in the memory, but quickly brought himself back to the present. "I knew that you couldn't possibly have survived, there was no way."

"Edward, _you_ more than anyone should know that death doesn't always mean _death_." I replied; my tone had a sour edge to it.

_Had he really not considered that I had been changed? _Before I could continue my thoughts he responded.

"Bella, I was just in so much pain – I though I had lost you – I guess that I was too blinded by it to think of the alternative."

_He was blinded by the pain? What pain? Could he have really meant it earlier when he said that he loved me?_

"Edward, I'm confused. What are you talking about? What _pain _could you have possibly felt?" I asked, bluntly stating the truth.

"Bella… you were everything to me; you _are _everything to me!! I love you so much Bella; I always have and I always will!" He stated, surprised by my question.

"But you left me Edward! You didn't love me anymore, you said it yourself!" I said, almost shouting.

His expression suddenly became appalled "Bella, did you honestly believe me?! After all the times I have told you I loved you, you let one word cancel it all out?"

I didn't say anything; just stared at him with a bewildered expression.

_What was he saying then? Why had he left?_

Just then I remembered what he had said to Carlisle; that he left me thinking I would be better off… _what did that mean?_

"Edward… I-I… don't understand" I spit out, struggling to find the right words.

"Bella" he said simply. "Did you really think that I could _not _love you? I did it to protect you; I thought you would be safer without me in your life… but I was obviously wrong. When I found out that you had died, it was like I died too. You don't seem to understand Bella, you _are_ my life. Leaving you was the hardest – and the stupidest – thing I have ever done, and I regret it _everyday_ of my life."

It felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I just stood there, gasping for air; trying to understand what he had just said.

_He left me because he loved me? _All of my previous thoughts about him leaving me were now being questioned again. _Did he really mean that? Is he just saying it? How can I trust him?_

My head felt like it was going to explode from the nonstop questions that bombarded my mind. _What if he is telling the truth, what then? _

"No…" I whispered even quieter than before. "I don't believe you."

"Bella – hmmm, how can I put this so you'll believe me?" He stood there for a minute, trying to think of the right thing to say. "Bella, when I thought you had died, the first thing I thought of was that I wished I were dead too, because without you Bella – life isn't worth living. I had even left for the airport to visit the Volturi, but my family had stopped me; kept me from ending my life"

I felt myself shake and I once again began to cry. I hated showing my emotions in front of him and I tried to control myself; but it did nothing.

I wanted to believe his words. I _so_ badly wanted to believe them. But I didn't know how…

_How do I trust him? How do I know he isn't lying to me now? _The same thoughts from earlier had once again bombarded my mind.

Edward took a step forward and put his hand on my shoulder – but, unsure of how I would react, did not embrace me in a hug. And for this I was glad; I didn't know if I would be able to resist the urge to throw myself at him again.

As much as I disliked the idea, I knew I needed to go. I needed to think, badly, and I couldn't think while I was here – so close to Edward.

"I need to leave… I-I have to go" I told him, my words coming out in a rush.

I didn't look back at his face – which would inevitably be filled with pain – as I bolted out of the house. I didn't even slow down when I ran past Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper – who were sitting on the driveway toying with one of the cars – I just ran, it hurt too much to look back at their faces which would undoubtedly be filled with surprise and concern, maybe even anger – I just kept running towards the forest.

I need time… I needed to think. And with that thought, I ran faster; passing the huge house.

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry this chapter is a little bit short... I just couldn't come up with anything else to put in. But tell me what you think!! I still don't know what I am going to do with the whole Edward and Bella getting back together thing, so if you have any ideas please review and tell me! But either way please review!! So, I have some bad news: I am going out of town on thursday and won't be able to write anything, but I am going to _try_ and write at least one chapter before then!**


	7. Thoughts

**Disclaimer: ****_This is a fan-fiction of Stephenie Meyer's book "Twilight" and I do not take any credit for the creation of any of the characters._**

_I didn't look back at his face – which would inevitably be filled with pain – as I bolted out of the house. I didn't even slow down when I ran past Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper – who were sitting on the driveway toying with one of their cars – I just ran; it hurt too much to look back at their faces which would undoubtedly be filled with surprise and concern, maybe even anger – I just kept running towards the forest._

_I need time… I needed to think. And with that thought, I ran faster; passing the huge house in seconds. _

**Chapter 7: Thoughts**

Due to my emotionally fueled speed, I made it to my house in a matter of minutes.

As soon as I stepped inside I fell to my knees and began sobbing; sobbing for everything that had happened, and everything that _could _happen.

Thoughts and questions were running through my mind at a hundred miles per second, and I could barely keep up with them.

I kept on thinking about how badly he had hurt me, and how he_ keeps_ hurting me. Knowing that he hadn't looked for me at all was almost as bad as him leaving me. I know he had thought I was dead, but how could he have been so convinced? Wouldn't he have known it in his heart that I was still alive?

My thoughts and emotions were once again pulling me into an endless oblivion. I tried to struggle against it this time, but failed miserably.

_What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? _That one question repeated itself in my mind over and over again. _What do I do? _I hadn't the slightest idea what the right answer was.

_Do I let him back into my life? _I didn't know if I was able to do that. Every time I think of the possibility, I think about that day twenty years ago when he took my heart and shattered it into a million tiny pieces. _How do I know he won't do it again? _

But every time I consider staying away from him, I shudder. _How could I not be with him? _He is all I have wanted for the past twenty years. He is the reason I haven't gotten on a plane to Italy and asked the Volturi to kill me; yet, at the same time, he is the reason I have even had to consider it.

_What do I do? _There goes that question again…

If I go back to him, I don't think I would ever _really _be able to fully trust him again. But the idea of not being with him caused me physical pain; _how could I not go back? _He was – no_ is_ – everything to me…

No, I had to stop thinking about him like that. There was no denying that I loved him; but I needed to prove to myself that I was capable of living on my own, that I was not just a zombie – lifeless and vacant – that I had my _own _life.

But thinking about this still made me hurt, because I knew it wasn't true; I have never had a life outside of Edward. Even when he left me, my life revolved around him. I just couldn't seem to let go.

Thinking about this made me realize that I needed him – I needed to go back to him. But this thought was accompanied with many emotions: anger, hope, vulnerability…

Anger because I was still mad at him for causing me so much pain. It would have been unreasonable _not_ to feel this way. I just can't stop thinking about how this – me – is all his fault. If he hadn't left me, if he had just stayed there and protected me himself, then I would be _human_ right now! I could have gotten married, went to college – I could have had a life. But no, that will never happen; he left, and when he left I died.

Sitting along side of my anger was also hope. I wanted so badly for everything to just go back to the way it used to be; the way it was when I was still human, I hoped that everything would just be perfect. But this was a vain hope and I knew it. Besides, "perfect" doesn't even exist.

Along with the anger and hope, I also felt vulnerability. I knew that I was in a very fragile state right now. If I were to get back with Edward, and he were to hurt me again, I know I wouldn't be able to handle the pain. I would no doubt find a way to kill myself before I had to go through that horrible pain once again.

Instead of thinking suicidal thoughts I started to think of alternatives.

Maybe we could just start out slow? Like, we could just be friends first and gradually gain each others trust back.

Or maybe I could just start with the rest of the Cullen's?

_Hmmm maybe Alice?_

I realized that if I started with the rest of the Cullen's then there would be no way of avoiding Edward.

But I also knew that I had to do _something_. Maybe I could do both? Take all of the Cullen's at once? I know that it sounds like an impossible task, but I would much rather face all of them together, then just Edward alone.

This idea did not appeal to me, but it was a compromise. And it was the only solution I could think of.

At least it was something…

Finally - after what seemed like days, and probably was - I pulled myself off of the ground and began to think of how to put the plan in action.

_Should I just walk over there? When? Do I need to call?_

Thoughts and questions _once again _crashed through my mind, and I tried my best to find solutions to them.

I knew that I couldn't stay here for that much longer; they would eventually get anxious and come over themselves. But I still didn't know how to do it. I didn't even know if I could find the _strength_ to do it. But either way I knew I had to; I had to find strength, and I had to go and see them.

In the end I decided that I would just go over there, surprise them. And this idea gave me a little strength; they wouldn't know I was coming, they would be caught off guard.

I went upstairs and changed my outfit - for I was still wearing the one I had gone hunting in. I put on a simple pair of jeans and a blue blouse - I still didn't have the fashion sense that Alice had.

Once I was done I reluctantly left the house and headed towards the Cullen's.

The whole way there I was struggling with myself to turn back, but I pushed those thoughts away and continued to move forward.

_I have to do this_ I kept telling myself, and with that thought I finally arrived at the Cullen's.

* * *

**A/N: So I'm sorry that this chapter is really short, but I was once again having major writers block. Its not my best chapter either but I didn't really know how to lead up to her decision. But either way PLEASE, please, please REVIEW! And if you have any advice please share; I could really use it. Oh and - once again - I would like to remind you that I will not be able to write at all for the next few days, and I really doubt I'll get up another chapter before then, sorry!**


	8. Confidence

**Disclaimer: ****_This is a fan-fiction of Stephenie Meyer's book "Twilight" and I do not take any credit for the creation of any of the characters._**

_The whole way there I was struggling with myself to turn back, but I pushed those thoughts away and continued to move forward._

_I have to do this__ I kept telling myself, and with that thought I finally arrived at the Cullen's._

**A/N: For those of you who thought that I forgot about Alice last chapter, don't worry I didn't; I just had to work up to it. You'll see when you read… **

**Chapter 8: Confidence **

I had completely forgotten about Alice and her ability to read the future, so when she ran from the doorstep and threw herself into my arms, I was totally unprepared. How could I have forgotten?

I suddenly felt a million emotions run through my body; but the most prominent one was doubt. How could I face _this_ when I couldn't even remember Alice's gift?

I began to panic and was just about to turn around and run home, when I felt a wave of calm sweep through me. Jasper.

My panic instantly dissolved and in its place was confidence. I mentally thanked him as I pulled myself out of Alice's arms.

"Bella! I knew you'd come back!!" She said, jumping up and down.

"Of course you did Alice." I replied and she burst into laughter.

She took a step forward and tried to embrace me in another hug, but I quickly took a step back; I wasn't ready for that yet. I instantly regretted the decision though when I saw her face – which was filled with hurt and pain.

"Alice, I'm sorry… I'm just not ready for that yet." I tried to soothe her.

Her head instantly shot up, and her face was now filled with happiness and excitement.

"But you will be, soon!!" She said in a confident voice.

That comforted me a little because I knew that it was true. I would never bet against Alice. Although I was comforted and confident, I still had little seeds of doubt in my mind. _What if Alice is wrong? What if this never works out?_ _What do I say to them? How am I going to do this…!?_

My panic – once again – began to rise. But Jasper must have sensed this because he threw another wave of calmness at me. I was glad he was here; I knew that without him I would have made a run for it the instant I had seen the house.

Alice and I were still standing there – in the Cullen's front yard– when she pulled my arm and said "Come on! Let's go see the family!"

The first thing I noticed when I walked through the front door, was that the entire family was already there – sitting on the couches that were by the T.V. I immediately recognized this area from the last time I was here; it was where I had been lying for almost a day, where I had sat hugging Edward.

At our entrance, Edward jumped to his feet and was about to embrace me like Alice had, but saw the reluctance in my eyes and just stood there.

We stared at each other for an immeasurable moment, until I finally forced myself to look away. I gradually moved my eyes to the rest of the Cullen's and rememorized everything about them; the way Carlisle and Esme's hands were intertwined, the hulking figure of Emmett, the undeniably beautiful figure of Rosalie, and the look of concern and worry in Jasper's eyes.

Looking at all of them made me feel whole again. It made me feel like I had a family; like I _belonged_ somewhere.

Just as I was about to speak – although I had no clue what I was going to say – Carlisle did; saving me.

"Bella" he said in a pleading voice.

"Yes, Carlisle…" I replied.

"We're- We're…" I never thought that I would have seen Carlisle at a loss for words, but I now have.

"Bella" Esme said, helping her husband "We are so sorry! We know that you can never forgive us, but I ask for you to try and understand! We thought that you were dead, that you had been killed. We could have never even imagined that you had been changed; that you were one of us." Her eyes were pleading, trying to make me understand.

"But Esme, that doesn't change the fact that you _left._ It doesn't change the fact that I _am _one of you. It changes nothing. Not how I have lived every single day of my life alone and in pain, not how I have thought about suicide nearly everyday since you left, not even how I dream of having a life. It doesn't _change_ anything." I stated, with a shaky voice.

My confidence had disappeared, and my body started shaking; ready to break down and start sobbing once more. But I somehow found the strength to stand and began to talk once more.

"Esme… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound so angry. It's just that… I-I don't know…Its like I have kept my emotions locked up for so long that now that I'm actually using them they are stronger…" I didn't know if what I said made any sense, but they all seemed to understand.

"Bella" Edward said, his beautiful voice calming me. "Don't apologize; there is nothing for you to be sorry about. We _deserve_ this Bella. No, we deserve a much harsher punishment than this. Please Bella; don't feel sorry, this is all our fault – no it's all _my _fault!"

"Edward!" Alice – who had been silent throughout the argument – scolded. "Don't you dare say that it's your fault! It's all of our faults! We _all_ decided that it would be safer for Bella if we were no longer around her!"

"Well that plan sucked…" I said to myself under my breath.

Edward heard – due to his insanely sharp vampire hearing – and turned his attention back to me, forgetting about Alice. "I know Bella. Oh, how much I wished it weren't true, how I wished I were able to take it all back… I can't even begin to tell you how much I wish it. Would you ever want to be a part of our lives again?" he asked in a hopeful, yet resigned voice.

"Edward…" A sob escaped from my throat, but I quickly continued "I want to Edward, I really do. I just don't know if I can… I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust you. I love you Edward – I always have, and I always will – but I just… maybe… could we just take this one step at a time?" I turned to the rest of the family as I said the last part, hoping they would know I was talking to them too.

"Of course Bella" they all replied.

It felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders, and I instantly relaxed. "Thank you." I told them.

"Bella, we would do anything for you" Esme said in a loving voice.

"Yeah!! Bella is back!" Emmett said excitedly as he strolled to me and picked me up in a giant bear hug.

"Emmett, put me down!" I tried to sound serious but a laugh escaped my mouth, followed by another, then another… pretty soon I was laughing hysterically. By this point Emmett had set me on the ground staring at me with a confused expression.

"I- Just- you- I don't know!!" I tried to explain, in between laughs.

Emmett began to laugh along with me, and eventually all of the Cullen's joined in. We were all on the ground holding our sides; giggling like crazy.

After what seemed like hours we finally stopped laughing and just laid there on the floor, saying nothing.

_This is the most fun I have had in twenty years…_ I silently thought to myself.

"This feels… _good._" I said – aloud this time – with evident shock in my voice.

Edward was the one to reply. "I know" he said, and with that he moved closer to me and grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers.

I didn't know what to do. _Should I pull away? _I didn't want to pull away.

I knew that I would regret this later, but I still didn't remove my hand from his. Instead I turned my head to face his and smiled into his beautiful topaz eyes. I wasn't going to move. I _wouldn't _move. I just wanted to lay here like this forever, holding onto his hand.

I was happy. For the first time in twenty years I was _happy._ I never wanted this moment to end.

* * *

**A/N: Ahhh, another chapter! Wow, thats eight! Sweet. I've been feeling like my chapters are gradually getting more boring... What do you think? Review please!!**


	9. School

**Disclaimer: ****_This is a fan-fiction of Stephenie Meyer's book "Twilight" and I do not take any credit for the creation of any of the characters._**

_I knew that I would regret this later, but I still didn't remove my hand from his. Instead I turned my head to face his and smiled into his beautiful topaz eyes. I wasn't going to move. I wouldn't move. I just wanted to lay here like this forever, holding onto his hand._

_I was happy. For the first time in twenty years I was happy. I never wanted this moment to end._

**Chapter 9: School**

I don't know how long we stayed like that – lying on the floor with our hands intertwined. But I didn't care about anything. I didn't even _think_ about anything other than how perfect this moment was.

It felt like every wish I have had for the past twenty years had finally come true. I am happy, I have a family, and I have _Edward_. Nothing could ruin this moment.

Or at least I _thought_ so…

Edward sighed and sat up – keeping his hand in mine.

"Bella, love, we need to get ready for school."

_School?_ I hadn't been to school sense that first day I saw them.

"What?" I asked, bewildered.

"Bella, we have to go to school. I think you should come." He said, in a pleading voice.

"But, I've only been to the school once… I can't just waltz back in." I replied, in a panicked voice.

Was he crazy? Did he really think that I would go to school? I couldn't. _No, I wouldn't._

"Don't worry Bella; we'll have no issue getting you back in." his expression was amused.

"Edward, I can't. I-I don't want to go back to school… I hate it there. I can't stand it…" I admitted.

"Bella, there's no need to worry. We'll be there, what is there to be afraid of?" he tried to comfort me.

_You._ I thought in my mind. But that wasn't the only reason.

"I've never really admitted this to anyone before…" I trailed off, reluctant to continue.

"Bella, please continue." Edward said, while simultaneously tilting his head down to meet my gaze.

I instantly reacted. My insides totally melted and I felt my knees start to shake. His eyes were gloriously intense, and I forgot how to breathe – not that I needed to. I forgot about everything – the Cullen's who were gathered around us, even the argument we were having about me returning to school. It was just us; nothing else existed. I had stupidly forgotten about his ability to "dazzle" me, and I was caught completely off guard.

He released me from his stare after what felt like an eternity, and I instantly sucked in a lungful of air.

"W-W-What?" I replied, dazed.

Emmett burst out laughing, but I silenced him with a glare.

"I said please continue" his voice was smug and his eyes were reeling with amusement. He knew that he had momentarily dazzled me, and was noticeably proud of himself.

"Never mind" I said in an angry voice.

"I'm sorry Bella. That was rude. I apologize" he sounded sincere, and I could tell that he meant it.

I sighed, giving in. "It's just that I kind of get jealous of the kids – the humans. They have lives – family and friends. They have everything that I don't."

His face was once again pained when he quietly replied "Bella, you have us now."

I stood there for a minute and thought. His face began to grow impatient, and he let out a frustrated sigh. He was obviously still getting used to my "AM frequency" mind. I held up a finger to show that I was thinking, and he seemed to calm down knowing I was going to say something.

"I know I have you guys. But you left me once already. How do I know that you won't leave me again?" I was close to crying now.

"Isabella Marie Swan" he whispered "Do you really believe I could leave you again? You seem to be under a misapprehension. I _love _you Bella. You are my life. I only left you in the first place because I wanted you to have a chance at a normal, happy, human life. I could see what I was doing to you – always putting you in danger, risking your life, taking you away from the world you belonged in. I was no good for you. I knew I had to do _something_, and I thought leaving you was the only way. It was the biggest mistake of my life, and I regret it every single day. But don't you see Bella? I love you, and I can't, no _won't_, make that same mistake again. I'm not going to leave you, I'm not going anywhere."

I couldn't help it; it was just too much information to take and I began sobbing.

Edward closed the distance between us and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me into his chest; supporting all of my weight.

I didn't resist, I wanted to be held. To be comforted. I wanted to be with _him._

"Bella, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" he whispered over and over again, and I knew he wasn't just apologizing for the present, but for everything.

I knew that his words were true; he did love me. And I undeniably loved him. The bond forged between us was not one that could be broken by absence, distance, or time. We would always belong to each other. We would always love each other.

After what seemed like hours I finally stopped crying, but we didn't move. We stayed there – sitting on the floor – holding onto each other.

I don't know _when _the other Cullen's left, but I do know that it was a while ago and for that I was thankful. I didn't want them to see how weak and broken I really am. I couldn't let them see how crushed I was on the inside.

Momentarily forgetting my negative thoughts, I tilted my face up to look into Edwards eyes "I love you Edward" I admitted.

His eyes seemed to melt, all of the previous pain disappearing, and a huge smile spread across his face "I love you too, Bella".

He had decided something; I could tell from his eyes. But I didn't know what, until he started to lower his face – bringing it closer to mine. I then realized what he was doing; yet, I didn't stop him. I didn't _want _to stop him.

He paused; his face just inches from mine and searched my eyes, looking for something to stop him. But – finding nothing – closed the distance between our faces and met his lips with mine.

The instant our lips touched I felt alive. It was as if every muscle in my body had been asleep but was now waking up. My memories did not do this justice, for what I was experiencing was the most amazing and unreal thing I could imagine.

His lips were cold and hard, but soft and warm at the same time. He was hesitant at first, his lips only lightly touching mine, but when I kissed back he got more confident and eager and pressed them against mine with no hesitation.

My hands had wrapped themselves around his neck and were tangled in his hair, while his were on my back – hugging me tightly to his chest.

When we pulled apart we were both gasping for breath, but he didn't stop kissing me. He slowly moved his lips down my neck, and gradually made his way down my arms.

He trailed his fingers along my back and sent shivers throughout my body. He moved his lips from my arm; only to graze them along my stomach.

A moan escaped from my mouth and I quickly drew his face back up to mine, so I could once again kiss him.

We kissed for what seemed like hours. We had somehow managed to pull ourselves onto the couch and I was now lying on top of him with my head against his chest.

"Bella, that was amazing" he said in a breathless voice "Bella, I love you so much."

He had been telling me that he loved me throughout this whole time, but no matter how many times he has said it; it still ceases to make me any less happy.

"I love you too, Edward" I told him "I always have, and I always will."

I buried my nose in his chest, breathing in his mouthwatering scent, and squeezed myself tighter to his body.

"So…" Edward started.

"Yes?"

"I _really_ think you should come to school"

I started to laugh at how far off topic we had gotten, and Edward – realizing it too – began to laugh with me.

"Okay" I managed to spit out in-between laughs. "I'll go"

He sighed in content and I felt his lips curl up into a smile against my hair.

I _wanted _to go to school now. Although the idea was a little scary, I didn't mind; Edward would be there.

* * *

**A/N: AHHH!! Oh my god, this chapter was like, by far the most fun to write!! Goddd, I was like going crazy when I wrote the kissing scene! I tried to make it perfect, but it is no where near. But... I have a problem. You see, I've had like 3200 hits, but only 25 reviews!! Whats up with that? Please, please, please review. I need your opinions (good, bad either one I want to hear)!! I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as possible!**


	10. Comfort

**Disclaimer: ****_This is a fan-fiction of Stephenie Meyer's book "Twilight" and I do not take any credit for the creation of any of the characters._**

"_Okay" I managed to spit out in-between laughs. "I'll go"_

_He sighed in content and I felt his lips curl up into a smile against my hair. _

_I wanted to go to school now. Although the idea was a little scary, I didn't mind; Edward would be there. _

**Chapter 10: Comfort**

"Alice, I can't do this!"

"Relax Bella, it will be fine. There's no need to worry; we'll be right there with you."

Alice and I were upstairs in her bedroom; she was trying to find me the perfect outfit for school.

"Here we go. What about this?" She said while holding up a short blue dress.

"Alice, we're going to _school_. We're not going to be modeling on a runway."

"Awwww, come on Bella! It's not that bad." She whined.

"Alice I am not wearing that dress. Find something more casual; maybe jeans and a blouse?" I tried to say this nicely but some of my irritation leaked in my voice.

"Humphhh, fine." She turned angrily on her heel and stormed back into her closet.

"I really think that school is a bad idea Alice…" I said timidly.

I had been having doubts all morning, and it was getting worse as the time to leave for school neared.

Yesterday I had been so ready to go to school. If Edward was going to be there, then everything would be alright. But now that I was alone with Alice, I started to panic. _Why am I doing this? How can I do this…? What have I gotten myself into?_

I felt a wave of calmness sweep through me, but it affected me little. My mind was still whirling in panic. _I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this…_

The bedroom door opened and a pair of strong arms gently wrapped themselves around my waist.

"Bella, love, you need to relax. There is nothing to worry about." Edward soothed me; he obviously picked up on my mood from Jasper's mind.

"I'm scared Edward" I reluctantly admitted.

"Don't be Bella. I'll be there with you; I'll protect you." He turned me around so that we were face to face and then gently placed his lips against mine. "Don't worry Bella, I won't leave you."

All of my panic dissolved and I leaned my head against his chest.

"I love you" He whispered in my ear for the thousandth time. But no matter how many times he has said it, I could never get tired of hearing it.

I lifted my head and looked up into his beautiful topaz eyes. "I love you too, Edward"

We both smiled and he once again lowered his head and kissed me. I don't think I would ever get used to how good it felt. If I could kiss Edward all the time, then I would.

"Alright Bella, I found the perfect outfit!" Alice said, pulling us apart and dragging me to her bed. She held up a pair of tight fitting blue jeans and a thin light blue top with a low cut neck.

"Alice… I don't know…"

"Aw, Bella just try it on!" Without waiting for a reply, she pulled me off of the bed and pushed me into the bathroom.

I looked at the clothes, and then at my reflection in the mirror. I sighed and put them on. I knew that – being a vampire – I was beautiful, but I didn't like to flaunt it by wearing flashy clothes.

Once I had the clothes on, I turned back to the mirror and examined myself. I had to admit that I didn't look _that_ bad. The jeans fit perfectly and they made my legs look longer, and the top was very flattering; it hugged my curves, causing them to be more noticeable, and the color went well with my pale skin.

"Hurry up!" Alice shouted impatiently from the other room.

I sighed – she could be so _pushy_. "I'm coming Alice."

I walked out of the bathroom and found Alice standing there tapping her foot, while Edward sat on the edge of the bed waiting patiently. When they saw me they both smiled.

"Bella that's perfect! I knew it would look great on you!!" Alice was practically bouncing up and down "Now I have to go find you some shoes. Oh, I know the perfect pair!" She ran into her closet.

Edward got off of the bed and once again took me into his arms, pressing me tightly against his chest. "You look absolutely beautiful, Bella." I smiled at him and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Okay Bella, here I found them!" Alice bounced back in handing me a pair of blue high heels. "Try them on"

"Alice!" I whined "Heels!?" Even though I was a vampire, my human clumsiness seemed to stick with me. "I can't wear these!"

"Bella" she said in an exasperated voice "just put on the goddamn shoes! You'll have no problem walking in them; you're a vampire for god sakes."

She obviously didn't realize that I was still just as clumsy as I was when I was human.

"Alice, I may be a vampire, but as it turns out I am still exceedingly clumsy." I tried to explain.

She let out a frustrated sigh and ran back to her closet; returning with a pair of blue flip-flops. "Better?" she asked.

"Much." I replied as I slipped my feet into the shoes. "Okay, I'm ready"

"Then lets go" Edward said, while pulling me towards the door. A little moan of panic escaped from my throat and I stopped walking.

"Bella, you _really_ need to stop worrying. Everything is going to be fine!" He soothed.

"You don't know that…" I argued.

"Bella. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Now, come on." Although I was still reluctant, I followed him out to the car.

"Okay, lets go I guess." I said when all of the Cullen's had piled themselves into Edward's car – which was still a Volvo, only a newer one.

"So, Bella. Are you ready?" Emmett asked from the backseat.

"As ready as I'll ever be…" I stated.

"Oh, come on Bella. You don't honestly think we would let anything happen to you, do you?" He asked.

I sighed and said "No Emmett, I don't. I'm just nervous that's all." As I said the words I realized they were true. I wasn't _afraid_ I was just nervous. I hadn't been to school since I was human, and that was with the Cullen's.

I felt a tentative hand on my shoulder and thinking it was Alice, relaxed a little. But the voice I heard wasn't Alice's and it caused me to freeze in shock. "Bella, don't worry. We are _all_ here for you. There is no need to be nervous." Rosalie said in her beautiful voice.

_Rosalie?! _Rosalie was talking to _me?_ She was trying to _soothe_ me? Rosalie and I hadn't really talked at all since I came back. But every time I've seen her she makes her opinion of me obvious; she just glares, and walks away.

"Umm, thanks?" I replied in an unsure voice.

"I'd also like to apologize…" She continued. "Not only to you Bella, but to everyone else too. I know that I've been kind of difficult on Bella, and that I've been pretty self-centered, but after seeing how happy you guys are – especially Edward – I realized that I don't really 'not like' Bella, and that I was just, ummm… kind of jealous." It took her a great effort to get the last part out.

_Jealous?_ What did Rosalie – the incarnation of beauty, _Rosalie_ – have to be jealous of?

"Jealous?" I asked, confused.

"Bella, everybody loves you." she explained "You have the ability to make everybody happy! Even when you were human you were always able to; and I could never do that…" She trailed off.

"Oh, Rosalie! We all love you so much, we are always happy to see you!" Everybody seemed to say the same thing at the same exact time.

She half smiled and said "I know that. I guess I was just jealous of how fast you guys took to liking Bella… But I realize that I have always liked Bella too. It's just been hidden under all of my other emotions."

I smiled back at her "Thanks Rosalie, that meant a lot; I forgive you. And don't worry; I've always like you too."

She laughed and seemed to relax. "Thanks, Bella."

"Anytime"

"Okay guys, lets get going. Little Bella here wouldn't want to be late for her first day of school!" Emmett grinning at me.

"Oh joy…" I groaned, and everybody started to laugh; including Rosalie.

"But seriously Bella, don't worry, you'll be fine" Rosalie assured me, and I gave a grateful smile in return.

As we pulled into the school parking lot, I felt myself begin to relax. I could do this, there was no reason to panic.

We stepped out of the car and walked into the office. We needed to explain my absence, but I had no clue what to say. Thankfully, Alice saved me.

"Ms. Kraft?" she asked the secretary in a sweet voice.

Ms. Kraft looked up and started at seeing all of the Cullen's. "Yes, honey? Can I help you?"

"Well, Bella," she gestured to me "has been having some family issues, and hasn't been here for a week, and I just wanted to make sure that she could jump back in." Alice gazed at the secretary, bewildering her with her eyes.

Ms. Kraft blinked a couple of times, seeming confused. "Oh, umm… of course, that's fine."

Alice smiled brilliantly "Thank you so much! But could we ask for one more favor?"

"Sure, honey. What else do you need?" Ms. Kraft questioned.

"Well we were wondering if you could rearrange Bella's schedule so that it's the same as Edward's. You see, she's been going through a very tough time and would much rather prefer it if she were with someone she knew; someone who could comfort her when she needs it. Please?" Alice's voice was so sweet and alluring that Ms. Kraft didn't even think about her answer.

"Of course!" She said.

"Oh, thank you so much!" Alice replied.

I smiled at Alice's brilliancy. She had gotten me back in _and_ gotten my schedule to match Edward's. As soon as we stepped out of the office I tackled her with a hug.

"Alice your amazing! Thank you so much!"

"No problem" She said, while laughing.

"So where to now?" I asked Edward.

"Well, it seems we will be going to A.P Calculus." He said with amusement in his eyes.

I groaned. Calculus. I had forgotten that we actually had to do _work_ in school.

"Don't worry, it won't be that bad" He said, then took my hand and led me towards our classroom.

"Bye Bella! Have fun!" Emmett shouted after us, and I threw him a glare.

All eyes were on us when we walked into the classroom, and Edward's hand tightened reassuringly around mine. The teacher was at the front of the room, looking at me curiously.

"Hello" he said politely "You are…?"

"Hi, I'm Bella Swan. I just started." I explained.

"Oh, great! It's nice to have you. You and Edward can take a seat in the back over there" He pointed to two empty seats that were sitting in the corner of the room.

"Thanks" I smiled.

Edward and I took our seats in the back of the room, and I glanced around my surroundings. There were about 20 people in the classroom, and they all seemed to be looking at me. The girls were glaring, and the guys all looked at me lustfully. Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and drew me closer to him – in response to other people's thoughts no doubt.

I found that calculus was actually pretty easy. I already knew most of the stuff from the last time I was in high school, and Edward was there to help me when I got stuck.

The rest of the day was pretty much the same. Only one person had the courage to actually come up and talk to me.

"Hi, I'm Nick." He had said.

"I'm Bella." I answered politely.

"So what brings you here to McKay high?"

"Oh, well I umm…." I didn't know what to say.

"She's visiting some friends." Emmett helped, coming up behind me.

"Oh, well, t-t-that's cool. S-S-Sorry I've got to go." The he ran away as fast as he could.

Emmett had found this to be quite funny, and was laughing for about ten minutes straight until Edward had threatened him to stop. It was pretty funny though; the kid looked like he was going to pee his pants.

At lunch we all sat together at a table towards the back of the cafeteria; all with trays of untouched food in front of us. We didn't really talk much, but everyone asked how I was.

"So, how's you day been Bella?" Alice had asked cheerily.

"It's been good; it's not as bad as I thought it would be." I admitted.

"See, Bella I told you there was nothing to worry about!" Rosalie gloated.

"Yeah, nothing at all" Emmett agreed.

"I'm glad you're having fun." Jasper said.

"We're all proud of you Bella." Edward whispered into my ear.

The rest of lunch we just sat there, content. Edward was playing with my hair and tracing circles down my back; making me shiver in pleasure.

Edward kept to his promise, and didn't leave my side at all throughout the day; and for that I was glad. I felt ten times better with him there beside me.

The day went by surprisingly fast, and before I knew it the bell had rung and we were all piling into Edward's car.

That's when it happened. We were all sitting there – in the car – when Alice's face suddenly went blank and she gasped. She was having a vision.

Finally after what seemed like forever, she snapped out of it and opened her eyes. We were all anxiously waiting for her to tell us what she saw. When a smile spread across her face we all seemed to relax, especially Jasper who had been holding on to her in a death lock grasp.

"What is it Alice?" Jasper asked.

"Thunderstorm!" She shouted cheerfully. Everybody seemed to become excited at the same time; they all had huge smiles on their faces.

"Oh yeah! It's on!" Emmett boomed.

_Thunderstorm? What's so great about that? And what's "on"?_

"Umm, guys? What are you talking about?" I asked curiously.

Edward looked at me. His eye's seemed to say 'you don't know?' "Bella" he spoke as if I wasn't 'all there' "it's a thunderstorm; we're going to play baseball."

I instantly froze, and my face became horrified.

"Baseball?" I asked, hoping I'd heard wrong.

Emmett laughed at my terrified expression. "Of course!"

_Oh no…_

* * *

**A/N: So this chapter is kind of just a boring one, that explains things. Ands its actually the longest one I've written. Ironic, right? But anyways, I really hoped you liked it!! And, once again, please please please review! I love to know what you guys are thinking (remember good, bad, horrible, I want to hear it). Ill try to get the next chapter up as soon as possible!**


	11. Control

**Disclaimer: ****_This is a fan-fiction of Stephenie Meyer's book "Twilight" and I do not take any credit for the creation of any of the characters._**

_Edward looked at me. His eye's seemed to say 'you don't know?' "Bella" he spoke as if I wasn't 'all there' "it's a thunderstorm; we're going to play baseball."_

_I instantly froze, and my face became horrified. _

"_Baseball?" I asked, hoping I'd heard wrong._

_Emmett laughed at my terrified expression. "Of course!"_

_Oh no…_

**Chapter 11: Control **

We were all back at the Cullen's getting ready to play baseball, much to my dismay. Alice had said that it would be a perfect day to play, but I was internally hoping that it would turn out to be clear sunny skies. But it was a vain hope – I knew that Alice would be right.

"Do I _have_ to play?" I whined.

"Yes Bella! You'll have fun!" Alice said.

"Bella you'll do fine. Just try it. Relax." Jasper tried to soothe my worry.

Edward came up behind me and whispered in my ear "Don't worry, I'll be there." This – surprisingly – did little to soothe me. It would take much more than that to calm me down.

"Bella, everyone is going to play! Even Carlisle and Esme – well Esme's going to ref. – but you have to play!" Alice demanded. This sparked a little hope in me – I could ref. with Esme!

Jasper and Edward were looking at me curiously – no doubt due to my sudden change in emotion – as I explained "That's it! I can ref. with Esme!" hope was evident in my voice.

"Bella, _only_ Esme ref.'s. You have to play." Alice said, demolishing the little hope I had.

"Edward… Please?" I begged, turning my body so that we were facing each other. I tried to "dazzle" him with my eyes like he frequently does to me, but I don't think it had quite the same effect.

"Please, Edward" I brought my hand up to his cheek and looked even more intently into his eyes. "Please, don't make me play"

He seemed to be dazed for a couple of seconds – hopefully due to my stare – and had to blink several times before he could answer "Bella, love, I'm sorry. I know you don't want to play… but I really think you should." He tried to pique my interest, but with no luck.

"Fine." I said acidly "I'll play. But I won't enjoy it." I turned sharply on my heel and ran out to the front lawn; letting my anger simmer freely.

_Didn't they realize how much I didn't want to play? Don't they know that bad things happen when I play sports? _

I sat down on the ground where I was standing and waited for them to come out. I wished I knew where the field was so I could just run there myself, but I didn't, so I was forced to wait for them.

They came out not long after I did, and once again tried to lift me out of my sour mood.

"Bella, even though there is no way you'll beat me, I'm sure you will still have fun." Emmett said; overly confidently.

"I really doubt it Emmett." My voice was still sour.

"What? You think you can beat me!?" His eyes widened in feigned disbelief "You can try… but you don't really stand a chance."

I stood up – ignoring him – and let out a frustrated sigh. "Are we going or not?"

"Okay, follow us." Carlisle instructed.

Edward stayed at my side as we ran, and occasionally looked over and smiled. Trying once again – I assume – to change my mood.

We ran for about ten minutes until we stopped and entered a beautiful large clearing.

As we stepped onto the field I was suddenly bombarded by painful memories from when I watched the Cullen's play baseball at the clearing in Forks. It seemed like forever ago when James … Victoria – I had trouble thinking her name – and Laurent had tried to kill me. I felt like being here wouldn't really be official until they joined us.

Edward sensed my discomfort and walked over – pulling me into his chest.

"It's okay Bella, they're not here" It always amazes me when he knows exactly what I'm thinking. Sometimes I think that he really can read my mind.

I wrapped my arms around him, and smiled in content. But then, remembering why we were here, returned to frowning.

"Okay, let's get this over with" I groaned.

Edward smiled at my reluctance and pulled me to the center of the field where the rest of my family was waiting.

_My family?_ Had I really just thought that? It felt so good to think the words, but somewhere deep down I knew that I didn't fully trust them yet, and I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to. I really _wanted _to trust them, but every time we get close – every time Edward wraps his arms around me – I can't help but feel this little seed of doubt in my stomach; what if they – _he _– leaves again? Whenever this happens I ignore it and try to push it deeper inside me, but it's still always there. _Will I ever trust them again?_

Ignoring the feeling of doubt I – once again – had, I let myself be towed to the rest of the Cullen's.

"Can I pick teams? Please!" Alice asked, bouncing up and down.

"Sure, go ahead." Carlisle granted.

"Yes! Okay, let's see…" she put her hand to her chin and began thinking "How about Jasper, Bella, Carlisle, and I – and then Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, and Esme."

"Alice, you know I'm not playing." Esme scolded.

"But Esme you have to! The teams will be uneven if you don't! Plus Bella is playing, you have to play." She negotiated.

"Fine, I guess I'll play then; if it makes you happy." Esme was always trying to please other people.

"What!" I shouted "I thought that Esme just _had_ to ref.!"

"Well Bella, the teams _will _be uneven if I don't play." Esme said, sheepishly.

She was in on it! My mood got even darker. Esme – sweet and caring _Esme_ – was trying to make me play. Fine, then. They'll soon realize how bad of an idea it is.

"Fine. Let's play." I said, just as it thundered loudly.

"Okay we'll bat first" Emmett declared.

Emmett's team moved to home plate and my team started to back up farther into the field.

"Bella, you take right field." Carlisle shouted.

_Right field? Where was that?_

"Excuse me?" I asked politely.

Carlisle chuckled and pointed "Over there."

Feeling very dumb, I walked to where he had pointed. I came to a stop about ten feet behind first base.

"Farther" Carlisle instructed.

I stepped back about ten more feet.

"Even farther. Go back about 150 feet, on the edge of the forest." He was laughing.

_150 feet? Holy crow. Well… okay. _I ran farther back and turned to see Carlisle giving me a thumbs up.

"Okay, now move a little more to the center" I took about fifty steps to the right "Good, now all you have to do is catch the ball when it comes to you and throw it to whichever base the runner is running to."

"Okay, sounds simple enough." I said, relaxing a little.

Emmett stepped up to the plate, and got into a swinging position.

"Ready?" Alice – who was pitching – asked.

"Haha, I was born ready!" He replied, laughing.

Alice threw the ball, and it seemed to disappear. Even with my super good vampire sight, I could barely see it. Emmett swung, and then hit the invisible ball with a loud crack.

Suddenly I caught sight of the ball – it was high in the air, moving with insane speed, and it was coming straight towards _me._

_Oh no_, I thought while I just stood there – staring at the ball. I seemed to be glued to the ground in panic, and was completely unable to move. _Oh no, Oh no, Oh no. _ The ball was coming closer and I was still unable to move, then suddenly I realized that I _needed _to move and started to bring my hands up – but it was too late. The ball hit me in the chest with such a force that it threw me back into the forest and crashed me into a tree – causing it to snap in half.

I didn't feel any pain, but I stayed there on the ground – lying on my back – in shock. _How had that thrown me so far? Wow, Emmett can really hit…_

Edward was at my side in an instant – lifting me up into his arms.

"Bella, are you okay!?" He said frantically – looking me up and down, making sure I was still whole.

"Yeah, I'm fine…" I answered in a dazed voice.

He sighed in relief. Then he started to question me.

"Bella, why didn't you move? Why didn't you catch the ball?" We were now walking back to the field.

"I-I don't know. I couldn't… I guess I just have slow reflexes."

"I'll say…" He mumbled under his breath.

When we emerged from the forest, Emmett was on third base; laughing hysterically.

"I'm s-s-sorry, Bella!" He spluttered out, in-between laughs.

"It's-" I started to apologize, but then thought better of it. Why should I? I told him I hadn't wanted to play in the first place. Plus he was _laughing_ at me. So instead I growled under my breath.

Just then Alice gasped and her face glazed over, then Edward wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and growled under his breath.

_Oh no… _This situation was all too familiar.

"Alice what is it?" I asked, but just then a gust of wind blew in my direction and I smelt it. Vampire.

Instantly everyone crouched down into a fighting stance. Their scent was strong – they were close. There were two of them, from what I could tell.

"Not again…" I whispered to myself, and Edward pulled me tighter to his body. Then I heard it; the sound of footsteps – they were here.

Two male vampires walked into the clearing, side by side. The tallest one, and the most massive looking one, had short cropped black hair and was wearing jeans and a t-shirt; he reminded me of Emmett in size. The other one, who was about a head shorter with a smaller build, had long brown hair that went down to about his shoulders and was wearing the same thing as the other. But this isn't what made me shiver in fright; it was there eyes, which were a cold blood red.

I know that most vampires have red eyes – the ones who feed off of humans. But it still ceases to scare me; they remind me so much of Victoria. This whole situation reminds me of Victoria…

Nobody said anything, and I started to panic. _Oh god, what do we do?_ Then it hit me. My power.

I hadn't used my power for the past week – I didn't want to encroach on the Cullen's privacy – and I had started to forget about it. But now that we were face to face with danger, I remembered. I could _make_ them go away.

I pulled myself out of Edward's arms, forcing the Cullen's back with my powers when they tried to grab me again – I hate using my powers on them, but our current situation permitted me too. I walked up to the two vampires – coming face to face – and was about to speak, when the big one beat me to it.

"Hi, we were just in the neighborhood and we thought we heard a game, so we came to check it out. Is there room for two more players?" He asked politely, but there was no denying the menacing tone underneath.

_Like I hadn't heard that one before…_

"Sorry we were just wrapping up." I said, not using my powers yet.

"Oh, well, are you up for another game?" he asked hopefully.

"No, sorry. We have to go." I said in a hinting voice.

"Please? We haven't played in forever, and are just dying to join." The smaller one said; speaking for the first time – he was starting to get angry.

Okay, _now _I was getting irritated. Couldn't they take a hint? "I said no. Now I suggest you leave." I started to unleash my power on them.

Both their eyes became glazed over and they opened their mouths to speak again, but were unable to.

"Go. Now." I demanded, releasing the full force of my power on them.

They both had confused looks on their faces, but without any hesitation turned around and ran back into the forest.

I reluctantly turned back to face the Cullen's – releasing them from my hold. They were all standing there, jaws dropped, looking at me in complete astonishment.

Edward was the first to speak "Bella, what was that? What did you do?"

"Umm… I can control minds…" I said reluctantly. I had never told them this before; I had never told _anyone _this before.

* * *

**A/N: Hello. So this chapter was very hard to write. I knew that I had to incorporate her powers in somehow but I had no clue how to do it, so I kind of just dropped it in; sorry if it sucked. Well anyways, please please PLEASE REVIEW. I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as possible. Oh, and FYI, I WRITE FASTER when I get REVIEWS, it encourages me. Especially when you give me advice and ideas. **


	12. Explanations

**Disclaimer: ****_This is a fan-fiction of Stephenie Meyer's book "Twilight" and I do not take any credit for the creation of any of the characters._**

_Edward was the first to speak "Bella, what was that? What did you do?"_

"_Umm… I can control minds…" I said reluctantly. I had never told them this before; I had never told anyone this before. _

**Chapter 12: Explanations **

All of the Cullen's seemed to be stunned into silence.

"You can… _what?_" Alice asked in an unsure voice.

"I can control minds…" I repeated.

Edward stepped forward and the look of hurt and pain in his eyes was almost unbearable.

"How come you haven't told me this?" his voice seeped with his emotions.

"I-I don't know. I guess I just didn't know how you would react to it."

"Bella! You know you can tell us anything." He scolded.

"I know… I just…. I guess I wasn't thinking." I was close to tears.

"Don't worry Bella, it alright." He quickly amended as he walked over and embraced me in another hug. "I'm not mad. But next time, don't hesitate to tell us. Okay?"

"Okay." I promised, not knowing weather or not I'd be able to keep my word. Was I able to be a part of their family and trust them with all of my secrets? I don't know. They hurt me before, what's stopping them from doing it again?

I was so focused on my thoughts that I didn't catch the questioning look Carlisle was giving me until he cleared his throat.

"Bella, what can you do?" He asked.

_What can I do?_ His blunt question startled me. This question was very symbolic to my life. What can I do? I have always wondered this. Controlling minds isn't really all that exciting, but was any part of my life really all that exciting? I had no one. I was just an ordinary vampire but I had _absolutely _nobody. The love of my life – no existence – had left me broken, and now I am nothing special – not that I ever was to begin with. So what can I do?

Carlisle didn't realize how many thoughts his words evoked in me, and his expression was growing worried; so I quickly answered, escaping my chaotic mind.

"I can control minds." I restated "Anybody's: animals, humans, vampires… I simply tell them what I want them to do, and they do it. I really don't even need to say anything, I can control them mentally."

They were all – once again – unable to speak.

"Bella, that is so cool!" Emmett exclaimed, breaking the silence.

"That's kind of scary…" Alice said.

"I know it can be, but don't worry I haven't and never would use it on you guys. It wouldn't feel right; taking away your control. I couldn't do that." I admitted.

Edward hugged me tighter "We know you wouldn't."

I was so glad that they so easily accepted my ability. I was nervous about telling them because I thought they wouldn't accept it, but my worries were now soothed.

"Thanks Edward. I mean thanks all of you. I'm so glad that you all accept it."

"Bella, we love you, and everything about you." Esme said in a loving voice.

"I know, thank you so much." The love that filled her voice made my non-beating heart flutter in pleasure.

"Bella what do you use your powers for?" Asked Carlisle.

"Mostly hunting, I can make the animals come to me. I usually don't do that though because I enjoy the challenge, but every once in a while I will get lazy and just use my power. I also use it for the occasional passerby's: danger. Like now for instance."

"Well that's convenient…" Emmett said. "But you know Bella, we could have handled it." He broke into a grin – no doubt picturing himself tearing the two vampires to pieces.

I grinned back "I know Emmett."

I felt so content right now. The feeling of being accepted and loved was overpowering, I hadn't felt this way in a long time; not since I was last with the Cullen's. During the large portion of my life that I was without them, I was nothing, I had nobody, but now for the first time in twenty years I feel complete; I actually have _somebody. _Although the shadow of doubt was still there I ignored it and let myself enjoy the moment.

I was so happy that I felt my self start to sob in joy.

"Bella what's wrong?" Edward asked worriedly.

"Don't worry, she's crying because she's happy." Jasper clarified; sensing my emotions.

Edward laughed and kissed the top of my head, pulling me tighter to his body.

"Bella, I love you" he whispered into my ear while lightly trailing kisses down my neck.

I shivered in pleasure. "I love you too." I started to sob even more.

"Bella, why are you crying? Why are you so happy?" He asked in confusion.

"It's just that I haven't felt this good in a very long time." I admitted. His eyes darkened with pain.

Although I didn't want to hurt him anymore I continued. "After you left, after Victoria changed me, I was nothing. I was like a zombie; simply eating when necessary. But now that your back I feel so alive, so wanted and loved. I feel happy; something I haven't felt in a while."

His eyes became filled with another emotion: guilt. "Bella, I'm so sorry. I will never forgive myself for leaving you."

"Nor will we." Alice added, startling me. I had forgotten the rest of the Cullen's were here.

"Edward, guys, you can't blame yourselves. It will destroy you. I forgive you, I know it wasn't your faults; you thought you were doing the right thing, you thought you were protecting me."

Nobody said anything – nobody knew _what_ to say. So we just stood there awkwardly.

Carlisle stepped up. "Bella what happened to you after we left? Could you tell us? How did Victoria reach you… what did you do after? How did you restrain yourself?" He started to fire off questions.

I held up my hand to quiet him. "I'll tell you guys everything, but are you sure you want to hear? It's not a pretty story." I said, truthfully.

**A/N: I thought about ending the chapter here, but I know I haven't written in a while – so I will be nice and try to make this chapter long.**

"Please, Bella. We want to hear." Esme said, speaking for the family.

"Please go on." Edward pressed.

I drew in a shaky breath "Okay" I said. _Would I be able to tell them this?_ I know they're going to feel even guiltier then they already do, would I be able to put that on them? More importantly, would I even be able to tell them? Would I be able to push the pain out of my memories? I knew this wasn't going to be easy.

"After you guys left I thought that I was going to die… I didn't know what I was going to do. It felt like my life had fallen apart and there was nothing more to live for." The painful memories flooded my mind and my face contorted in pain.

Edward gently squeezed me in reassurance. We were all sitting on the ground now; me next to Edward with his arm wrapped around my shoulders tightly – the rest of the Cullen's were circled around us; listening to me intently.

I continued. "I stayed in my room for a month straight. Charlie didn't know what to do with me; he called doctors but they couldn't do anything. They kept throwing around words like 'catatonic' and 'severe depression'. I didn't go to school; I didn't do anything. I just stared at my ceiling wishing for death. Charlie brought me food, but I rarely ate, I rarely even moved. I was like this when she came; she actually snapped me out of my lifeless state…" I started to sob unable to continue.

"Bella its okay, you're here now." He tried to calm me.

I took a deep breath and once again began "Charlie had just gotten home from work, and he brought me up some dinner that I knew I wouldn't eat. He was trying to talk me out of my unresponsive state when I heard a loud noise; it sounded like the door was being kicked in. Charlie immideatly reacted and ran towards my door, trying to make it downstairs to grab his gun. But he wasn't fast enough… she was already there. He hadn't even made it out of my room…" I trailed off, losing myself in the painful memories.

Edward pulled me into his arms and squeezed me to his chest; this gave me the strength to continue. "She kicked him in the chest and sent him flying backwards; hitting the wall. I remember hearing a few cracks, his ribs breaking. He told me to run, but I couldn't move. I was frozen. I just stared at her, remembering her fiery red hair and her piercing crimson eyes. I knew that I was going to die. I just hoped that she would leave Charlie alone. But it was a vain hope… that would have been nice, and that's not Victoria.

I had jumped off the bed, it was the first time I had moved in a month. She started to walk back to Charlie and was about to kick him again, but I threw myself in front of him; taking the blow. I knew that she had broken several of my ribs but she continued to beat Charlie and I couldn't let her do that, so I uselessly threw myself at her – ignoring the pain. She didn't even budge, she just picked me up like a sack of potato's and threw me against the opposite wall.

I couldn't move, I was in too much pain. No matter how hard I tried to move; it was useless. I just laid there – broken – in a heap on the floor, watching as she slowly killed Charlie. She was tearing him, limb by limb, apart and I could do nothing more than watch and cry."

I was sobbing so hard that I couldn't speak. Edward was there, holding me to his chest trying to sooth me, but it did nothing. I was lost in the oblivion of my memories.

Through my sobs I began to speak again. "Once she finished with Charlie she walked over to me. I knew that she was going to make my death even more painful than Charlie's had been, but I didn't care – I had nothing to live for, I wanted to die. She picked me up off the floor – which was extremely painful seeing as I was already in pain – and pinned me up against the wall. She didn't say anything, she just glared at me with her hate filled eyes. I started to get dizzy and black spots clouded my vision – I knew that this was it, I was going to die. She bit me then, her teeth digging into the flesh of my neck, and she started to drink.

I was no longer able to stand and I started to slide to the floor, but she held me up. The pain started immideatly – even though she was still drinking. It felt like my throat was on fire. It was a familiar pain, but it was ten times worse than when James had bit me. Victoria pulled away and stared down at me with her blood red eyes. I was confused. Why had she stopped? What is she doing? I could barely think through the pain but I was focused enough to hear her say _"Edward will hate this…"_. With that she turned around and ran out of the house, leaving me there – withering in pain.

The venom started to spread and the pain got worse. I knew I couldn't stay in the house, so I somehow dragged myself out to the forest. I don't know how I did it; it was excruciatingly painful. I let myself lay in the forest, and I tried not to scream, but I was unsuccessful, loud piercing screams erupted from my throat almost every minute; I was surprised no one had heard me.

The days passed slowly and the pain didn't lessen at all, but finally after what seemed like weeks but was really only three days, I was able to move with no pain. I felt so different, so otherworldly. I knew that I was a vampire now, but I was still shocked at my strength and beauty. It was unsettling. When I stood up after the pain had finally ceased, I put too much power into it and shot myself up into a tree…

I had forgotten about the hunger that came with being a vampire; I guess I was too caught up in my strength. So when I started to get a burning sensation in my throat, I grew scared and confused; I had no clue what was happening to me. Then it hit me. The scent. It was unlike anything I had ever smelt before, it was simply mouthwatering. So I tried to find the source it. I ended up walking into town and that's when I spotted the little girl. She was no older then five. I was inches away from killing her; from drinking the delicious scent that radiated off of her, but then I stopped myself, realizing what I was going to do.

I felt horrible. How could I have even thought about killing the little girl? Then I realized I would have to move; to get away from the humans. I moved to a secluded part of Alaska, and sustained myself by drinking from animals. I stayed there for a while not trusting myself around humans, but I gradually gained control. Then I started to travel the world. I went everywhere, and met some fellow vampires; but I never stayed with anyone. I never had any friends. I was a nomad. Then I decided I wanted to go to school. I didn't know if I had enough control, but I decided to give it a try. And that's how I ended up here." I finished, still sobbing.

Everybody had the same mask of guilt and pain on their faces.

"Bella we had no idea…" It surprised me that Rosalie was the one to speak.

"I know…" I sobbed.

All of the Cullen's stood up and embraced me in a hug.

"Bella we are so sorry, we had no idea that that would happen…" Everybody told me.

"Can we just go home now?" I asked. I wanted to lay down, I wanted to be alone with Edward. I wanted him to make my memories go away.

"Of course" They all whispered.

I couldn't walk, so Edward carried me all the way back in his arms; and for that I was grateful, his touch was comforting.

When we reached the house, Edward didn't even stop; he just ran me straight up to his room and laid me on his bed. He lay next to me, holding me in his arms while I got the last of my sobs out.

"I'm sorry Edward, I just…" I was unable to continue.

"Shhh, Bella. Its okay, I understand." He soothed.

I looked up into his beautiful topaz eyes and whispered "I love you so much, Edward"

He smiled and replied "Bella I love you too, you are my life." Then he leaned down and gently pressed his lips to mine.

It was amazing how I forgot about all of my worries and completely melted into his lips. If I could have welded mine to his, then I would have.

His kiss was gentle, hesitant. He rolled himself on top of me, carefully holding his weight – although unnecessary seeing as I'm unbreakable – and his kiss became more urgent.

My arms wrapped themselves around his back and pulled him closer to me. He took his mouth away from mine, but they did no leave my body. He trailed his lips down my neck and shoulders and slowly made his way down to my stomach – sending shivers through my body. A moan escaped my throat and I arched my back in pleasure. He felt so _good_, I didn't ever want to let go.

We kissed for what seemed like hours, I never wanted it to end, but unfortunately it had to . We were both lying on the bed – me now on top of Edward, my had against his chest – breathing heavily.

"I love you" He said, no matter how many times he said it, I still couldn't get over the emotion it sparked within me.

"I love you too" I whispered.

I felt so good right then, lying here with my love, momentarily forgetting my painful past.

* * *

**A/N: So, I know this chapter is like excruciatingly boring, and I'm sorry for that. I am also sorry that I haven't written in a while. I am once again having MAJOR WRITERS BLOCK. I seriously have no idea what to right. Thats why this chapter was so boring. So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!! And give me some IDEAS, I desperately need them. I'll try to get another chapter up soon, it all depends on the ideas you guys give me...**

**P.S: I finally got my Eclipse play list up so check it out on my profile!**


	13. SORRY

Hey…

**Hey…. **

**Sorry guys! But I really think I'm just going to end it here.**

**I have totally ran out of ideas. I have no clue what to write.**

**Unless you guys can give me any ideas….**

**Otherwise, no more chapters :((**

**PS- Im REALLY sorry! I know you guys probably hate me right now, but I have no idea what to write.**


	14. Epilogue

**A/N: Hello everyone. So this is really strange, seeing as I haven't really updated in like a trillion months – but I have decided that this chapter (no its not new) is just going to be the end. So I am going to rename it as the Epilogue, previously it was named "Encounter". I really apologize guys, I just ran out of ideas and I got really busy, I wish I had the will and the ideas to continue this but I don't. Sorry!**

**Disclaimer: **_**This is a fan-fiction of Stephenie Meyer's book "Twilight" and I do not take any credit for the creation of any of the characters.**_

"_I love you" He said, no matter how many times he said it, I still couldn't get over the emotion it sparked within me._

"_I love you too" I whispered. _

_I felt so good right then, lying here with my love, momentarily forgetting my painful past. _

**Epilogue**

It had been a week since I told the Cullen's about my past. I had thought that this would change things, but thankfully they seemed to fully accept my ability along with my past.

Edward was the hardest though, he feels so guilty about my difficult past and he keeps blaming himself for it. This was what I had been afraid of. I hated seeing him torture himself. Him being in pain, was painful for me. I couldn't stand it.

"Edward…" I had said the other day when he was – once again – blaming himself.

He looked up at me with pain filled eyes. "Yes, love?"

"Please stop"

"What?" He asked; confused.

"Stop beating your self up over this! It wasn't your fault! You can't let this guilt rule your life! What's done is done, there is no changing that, but I'm _here now_ and I hate seeing you do this to yourself." I scolded.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I just- I-If I would have just stayed then you would have been fine! You would have lived a normal, happy, human life!" He started blaming himself again.

"Edward" I tried to persuade him with my eyes "If you would have stayed, something would have happened to me anyways. Danger magnet, remember?"

He let the argument drop at that point, but I knew that this did nothing to deter his guilt. We'd have this conversation again. No doubt.

It was Saturday now, and I had no clue where Edward was. He said that he couldn't tell me – that it was a "surprise". So now I am stuck in the Cullen's house, listening to Alice try to talk me into going shopping with her.

"Please, Bella!" she begged. "Look at what you're wearing! You need to get some new clothes! Plus, I haven't been able to shop as much since you disappeared…. And I miss it."

"Awwww, Alice! I don't want to go. I just want to wait here for Edward." It was extremely hard to resist Alice, but I was too anxious to do anything.

"Bella! He won't be back for a couple of hours! We will have plenty of time."

"Alice, I don't want to go shopping. I think I'm actually going to go hunting." I didn't really need to hunt, but I'd say anything to deter Alice.

"Okay, I'll come with you then!" she said hopefully.

"Alice, I'm just going to go by myself. I need some alone time. Anyways I have to stop at my house and get a couple of things" -which is true- "it would just be boring for you."

She sighed "Hmphhh, fine Bella. But if you change your mind I will still be here." she looked so glum that I almost _did _changed my mind, just to please her.

"I'll be home soon." I said as I hopped off the couch and ran out the door.

"Bye" she called after me.

I didn't realize how much I wanted to get out of the house and run through the forest, until I smelled the musty scent of the trees and felt the wind blowing through my hair.

So much has happened in the past month, and I haven't really had any alone time to digest it.

I ran about forty miles into the forest, and then stopped and sat on a rock.

I am so happy right now. I have the love of my life back, and my family. Things couldn't get any better. I trust them fully now. It was hard in the beginning – trying to realize that they weren't going to leave me again – but now I know that they're here to stay. And I also realize that what happened in my past after they left, wasn't their fault. They were trying to keep me safe, to protect me from themselves. Although their plan went completely wrong, they didn't know.

For the first time in twenty years, I was happy. Genuinely happy.

Then I heard a twig snap.

I snapped my head up just in time to be kicked in the stomach; the force of it sent me crashing into a tree about 20 yards backwards. I fell to the ground with a thud.

I was so shocked by who I saw when I stood up, that I was unable defend myself when the vampire grabbed me by the neck, and dangled me in the air.

I didn't need to breathe – so the cutoff of air didn't bother me – but the vampire was squeezing my neck so hard that I thought – if possible – I would pass out due to the pain.

I looked at the familiar vampires blood red eyes and fiery red hair, and felt a surge of hate course through my body.

"Victoria" I sneered. Putting as much venom into my voice as possible.

"Hello, Bella." She said in a sickly sweet voice.

"What do you want?" I shouted, forgetting the pain in my neck.

"Is it not obvious Bella? I want you dead of course. When I changed you, I did it so you would have to live forever – miserable. But when I came to check on you, I saw just how happy you were. I can't have that now, can I?"

The anger that was boiling inside of me became greater and greater. It's her fault! Everything is her fault! _She_ was the one who killed Charlie. _She _was the one who turned me into a monster! And worst of all _she_ was the one who made me loathe the Cullen's. To make me think that they were the reason for my miserable life. And now _she_ was going to try to take my newly found happiness away from me, again.

I brought my legs up, and with as much force as I could muster, I kicked her in the stomach – causing her to drop her hold on me and fly back to the ground with so much force that it shook the entire forest.

She was on her feet right away, but I was quicker, and I just threw her right back to the ground – planting my foot on her back to keep her there.

"I won't let you do this to me! Not again!" I shouted as I inched my teeth towards her neck – getting ready to end her life.

In a movement, quicker than I could comprehend, she grabbed my leg that was keeping her down, and threw me off of her; into another nearby tree.

"Bella, Bella, Bella. I see your still naïve. Did you really think you could kill me so easily?"

My leg was broken, I could feel it. But I knew it would be healed in a matter of minutes, so I ignored it and sprang back to my feet, getting ready to fight.

She sprang first, and she managed to bite me in the shoulder – which hurt _a lot._ But I was able to throw her off of me and send her sailing to the ground.

She was quicker than last time, and was back on her feet in less than a second.

This time she didn't say anything as she attacked. And this time her blow knocked me to my back. She was on top of me in a second.

"Why do you need to make everything so hard, Bella?" She questioned, with amusement in her eyes as she watched me struggle to throw her off.

Whenever my arms or legs would connect with her, she would bite me and push me harder against the ground. She was enjoying this. Enjoying the pain her bites brought, enjoying the fact that she had my life in her hands, enjoying the fact that she would end my happiness.

I stopped struggling. I was going to die. I was _really _going to die. I thought back to the many times that I wished I _would_ die, and how my wish was never granted. But now, when I am actually happy, when I have a reason to live, I'm going to die.

Her face was inches from mine.

"Bye, Bella" she whispered.

_Edward…_ I will never see him again.

Her teeth touched my neck. _Bye Edward…_

"AHH!" I heard Victoria scream just before I heard a big boom, and saw the red headed vampire fly off of me and hit one of the already broken trees.

Now I was confused. What just happened?

But before I could finish the though Edward was at my side, lifting me into his arms.

"Bella, are you okay?" He asked worriedly.

I was too stunned to speak.

"Bella? Bella, are you alright?" He repeated.

"I-I think so…" And then I started sobbing. He pulled me closer, hugging me tightly. Then I remembered – Victoria.

"Edward what about Vi–"

"She's being taken care of." He interrupted.

I looked around in question, and for the first time realized that Emmett and Jasper were here, on top of Victoria, getting ready to kill her.

"Its okay, Bella. She won't hurt you anymore" Edward comforted.

I closed my eyes and leaned back into his chest.

"Can we just go home now?" I asked.

"Of course" He said, as he stood up – with me in his arms – and ran through the forest.

* * *

**ANOTHER A/N: Okay guys, this is it! I want to thank all of you guys who have put up with my crazy author notes and my occasional lack of ideas/inspiration (like right now, for instance). Those of you who have left comments, and have given me advice – thank you so much! You guys have helped me improve a ton, without you this story would have majorly sucked. And for those of you who haven't – you suck… JUST KIDDING. Really, jk, I love you guys too! Its never too late to leave a review though, haha. Thanks for reading :]**


End file.
